so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
