Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
