hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize