yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Damn victory sex feels great
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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