the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
