You're my little dorito
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
