fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
