we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
