I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize