Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
