me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
