and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
