In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize