I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
