Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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