whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
