u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
