i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize