This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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