When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
