this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
