I skipped work to stalk him.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize