He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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