i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
