I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
