So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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