"it" just moved
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
