I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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