tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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