So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
