it's like iHOP with fire
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
