I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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