im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
