He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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