I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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