if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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