God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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