Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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