after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
