you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
