Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
