i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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