Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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