i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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