You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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