are you still at the devil's house?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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