He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
