Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
