your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
