Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
