Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
