The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
