The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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