just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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