I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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