Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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